Doctor Who and his FudgeMuffins
by luvpunkie
Summary: What sort of strange and exciting adventures will the Doctor have with his Fudge-Muffin companions? Warning, will contain many pairings; Ten/Donna, Ten/Jack, Ten/Random Cowboy, Ten/Tardis. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

"Crash, bang, wallop," went the TARDIS™ and the people inside it.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Donna, clinging to the TARDIS™ control panel as she was flung from side to side. "Make it stop, spaceman! You alien nutter! What's it doing?"

"She's making space love to me. And I like it." The Doctor winked at Donna, whilst apparently enjoying the vibrations reverberating through the TARDIS™ floor.

"Oh. My. God. I'm stuck, in a spaceship, with a horny Martian. You have GOT to be kidding me!" she said, with a disgusted look on her face.

Suddenly the TARDIS™ reached her climax and came to an abrupt halt. The Doctor stood up and patted her interface lovingly. "Was that good for you?"

The TARDIS™ made an affectionate crooning noise, whilst swooshing her swoosher (that big light tubey thing in the middle). Donna made for the exit, making sure to keep a good distance from the panting and flushed Doctor. He followed her outside.

"Come on then. Tell me. Where have you landed us this time?" Donna asked, impatiently.

"Here, you're going to need this." The Doctor retreated into the TARDIS™ and came out clutching the ridiculously large hatbox that Donna had brought with her. He thrust it into her arms.

"What?!"

"Welcome to the Planet of the Hats!"


	2. Chapter 2

Donna turned to the Doctor, an expression of obvious disbelief plastered across her gormless face.

"You have GOT to be kidding me."

"Nope!" he grinned, pulling out an enormous fruity hat from his massive pockets, placing it at a jaunty angle upon his head. "Allons-y!" he said, stroking the TARDIS™ tenderly with his long slender fingers before skipping off up the hill. Donna followed, am-I-bovverd-ly, still clasping the hatbox in her hands, reluctant to put it on just yet.

Donna, wheezing and out of breath, reached the top of the hill some time later to find the Doctor sitting cross legged under a tree, delicately threading daisies together.

"I made you a crown!" he said, obviously very pleased with himself.

"So where are all the hats? The aliens? The buildings?" she asked. Just as the words had left her lips, along came a tall, dark and handsome man, who appeared to be dressed as a cowboy.

"Howdy y'all. How's it going there, partner?" he smiled, raising his eyebrow at the Doctor. Sure enough, perched on top of his lush, thick, black, wavy hair was a cowboy hat, tilted just over his eyes. He was clearly going for a theme, as he was also adorned with a checked shirt, sheriff's medal and spurs attached to his boots.

"Maybe this planet isn't so bad after all," thought Donna. Her daydream was soon destroyed as she turned around to see the cowboy sitting on the grass, playing hand clapping rhythms with the Doctor, who was giggling with glee.

"Oh well," she thought. "If you can't beat them…" she started, reaching inside her hatbox. She pulled out her hat and placed it on her head, and turning determinedly towards the Doctor and his new companion said, "Alright then. Let's do this thing."

The Doctor and his new companion looked over and their attention was immediately drawn to her rather conspicuous hat.

"What?" said the Doctor.

"What??" said the cowboy.

"WHAT?!" they said in unison.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The hat that appeared to be balanced precariously on Donna's ginger hair was…interesting, to say the least.

"That is the largest, pinkest monstrosity that I have ever seen, and I've been to Le Planete de Rosa, which is very pink, very fluffy, and they all speak French. Very nice actually! I hear the weather is particularly pleasant around November. But what is that?!" started the Doctor.

"What d'you mean…'What is it?' It's my hat! I wore this hat at my cousin's wedding!" she replied indignantly.

They both looked at her, clearly trying to keep straight faces, but obviously both failing dismally. Donna turned the same colour as her hat, tore the daisies from the cowboy's hands and ripped the chain apart, then strode off muttering obscenities under her breath.

Tears welled in the cowboy's eyes as he looked at the ruined remnants of something that had been so beautiful. The tears fell from his eyes as the petals fell from his trembling hands. As his bottom lip began to quiver, the Doctor placed a gentle, consoling hand on the cowboy's thigh and said,

"There, there. The Doctor will make it better". The cowboy's watery blue eyes met the Doctor's deep, soulful ones.

"You will?" he asked tearfully with tears in his tearful eyes. The Doctor reached slowly into his pocket, smiling sexily. He pulled out his Sonic Screwdriver™ and twirled it between his fingers playfully. Pointing it at the daisy chain he pushed the button and in a glow of blue light, the daisy chain was whole again. The Doctor planted a light kiss on the cowboy's cheek.

"There, all better," he said.

"Wow," said the cowboy in awe, examining the chain. "It's amazing what that thing can do!" The Doctor gave him a cheeky wink.

"Oh yes, you would be surprised," he growled.

A passionate expression full of need passed over the cowboy's face. After an intimate silence was shared between them, the Doctor decided to break it.

"What do you say we change this story rating from Teen to Mature?" His words sent a chill down the cowboy's spine.

"I want you so bad right now."

The Doctor swept the cowboy up into his muscular, manly arms and carried him off to the TARDIS™.


End file.
